the kernals are poppin

The perfect world ...

In the perfect world
the stars would always align
the weathers always perfect
and life never leaves you behind

the moon is always full
the tide is always right
it always works out
even without a fight

distance isnt a problem
true love isnt hard to find
when she looks in my eyes
i know shes all mine

but the sun comes up
the moon goes down
time flies by
and i find myself down

this world we live
comes to fast
I'll keep on going
as fate kicks my ass ...


blah ... bored ... lonely ... empty ... damn fridays with nothing to do and no one around ... thank god tomorrows saturday ...

well as you know im back and in the swing of things here in texas ... i had yet another appointment with the great army doctors ... this time they gave me a steriod that i asked for in the first place (my mom told me one that i had to take before) ... and the doctor promised that if i'm not better in 30 days ... tonsils are coming out ... he promised ... as for the virus that i have lurking in my system ... i have to take it easy and just rest alot ... which sucks because i cant afford to not work out ... so we will see how this goes ... i am just glad that i can finally get my tonsils out ... with that aside its back to training for iraq ... we have to start packing as well ... i just want to get there and get back (which shouldnt be a problem) ...

i have just become very impatient and i am afraid that i could lose something perfect without even having the chance make it work in the first place ... again if anyone happens to see fate kick him in the nuts for me ...

but we will see ... life has a funny way of working itself out ... in the mean time ... i got too much free time wondering what might have/could happen ...

well i made it back in one piece (after a battle with myself at the departing gate of bwi) ... i am not only home sick but bored as hell ... after being with family and friends doing something every night, i come back to the place where there is nothing to do ... so i have alot of time to think ... i really need to go to iraq so one ... i can bank some money while helping other soldiers out and so that i can hurry up and come back ... too much running through the my head to put it all down on here ...

ps- if anyone runs into fate ... kick him in the balls for me ...

So tomorrow is the day i have been dreading for the last couple days ...

Since i've been home i have seen almost all of my friends and most importantly alot of my family ... i had the chance to hang out and party and enjoy my time home ... in fact a little too much ...

while partying with my friends that i have known since middle school and just seeing everyone having a good time ... a friend of a friend came up too me ... he simply said thank you ... i replied "no problem glad you could make it to the party" ... he said "no, thank you for allowing us to do this with out having to look over our shoulders" ... then he just walked away ... in theory i understand what he was saying, and it made me feel glad that people (as small as a percentage it is) think that way ...

the bad part to all of this is that i realized that i really miss my friends and family ... being in texas i was used to not seeing everyone ... being home i realized how much i really miss everyone ... not to mention that i met someone ... i have poor timing!! good news is she cant wait until i come home in june ...

speaking of that ... i am no longer doing a european tour for R&R ... my best girlfriend is getting married and promised (awhile ago) that i wouldnt miss her wedding for anything ... apprently she remembers that and being in iraq falls under anything ... this will also give me a chance to see family and friends and a certain someone that will be waiting ...

just sitting here with the family watching tv ... dreading getting on my flight to texas ... i wish i could just stay here and fly out of baltimore to iraq ... but i am on a countdown until next year ...

home sick and i havent even left yet ...............

made it home in one piece ... its great to see everyone ... i will post again in a couple days to let you know how things are going ...

really quick though ... if you could pass this info around ... one of my Sgts told me about this program that really helps over in iraq ...

http://www.anysoldier.com/

just thought i would post this and hopefully it gets around ...

... peace out for now!

well things here at "the great place" are pretty boring ... not much going on ... although the good new is that I will be going home for two weeks tomorrow ... I am really excited and nervous at the same time ... nervous that this is going to be the last time that I see a lot of people until sept '07 ... I know that I will do my best to keep in touch and that friends and family will be awaiting my return ... it just makes you think ... I guess with all the down time recently I have just begun to think about the future ... think about how things have come about ... how things have happened ... and how things are going to/could happen ... its funny as a kid you never think about the future in realistic terms ... now as you get older you want to fast forward to it (stopping at all the fun spots ;) ) ... I guess I am just impatient and need to just soak it in ...

"I know it hurts. But it's life, and it's real. And sometimes it hurts, but it's life, and it's pretty much all we got. " - Garden State

Next blog to come from home ... ahhh home!

before you read this I would like you to know that I think of myself as an ordinary person ... an all American guy that has common sense and no better then the next ... good or bad that's how I feel (until I realize that you are an idiot and should just sit down and get out of the way)

saying that I realize that people have started making me mad ... not on purpose but the light is shining on people I work with and its starting to scare me ... I went out with my buddy the other day and we got to talking about our deployment. he made me realize that the other soldiers I am going to deploy with scare me ... they don't understand what they are about to do ... and even more ... they don't care ... simple tasks made difficult and drawn out because they don't do the right thing ... they know what the right thing is ... but they don't do it ... now ... they don't get in trouble or even spoken too but yet ... someone (me) does the right thing, the proper way, and nothing as well ...

now my squad leader has brought to my attention these facts as well, but he gives me words of encouragement to keep up the good job ... but he is leaving in a month ... so I am back to no one recognizing what I am doing ... I don't really care about that ... but I want to catch a waiver down range and I keep getting this feeling that I wont ...

what really ticks me off is that they don't care that they are about to head to Iraq to relieve another soldier so that they get to go home ... they don't care that because of us soldiers get their money and fix pay problems (a paid soldier is a happy soldier) ... btw ... I should have received a c.o.a for my work on our last field exercise ... I got nothing ... not even a good job ...

don't worry ... my efforts will not be compromised and I will continue to be the best soldier I can be ... I just hope that some of these knuckleheads wake up ...

on that note I have found myself wanting to settle down ... not necessarily a wife and kids ... but I want to know who is going to be my wife and whatnot ... I want to move into that phase of my life ... I mean ... I am turning 25 this week ... biological clock is ticking ;)