30 August 2006 

love it ... just love it

sooo i was picked for duty ... cq duty that is ... it pretty much just entales me staying up all night after a day of work to man the phone and do some random odd jobs ... well i found out it sucks ... and after being up from 6 am to 9 am you get pretty tired (i did get today off though) ... but what i really love is getting a cold and then coming up to my room to find out my laptop monitor isnt working ... argggggggggg ... now i must eat dinner ... i havent eatten all day ... then more sleep ...

24 August 2006 

alittle bit of free writing ... (actually wrote all of this down and thought I would share)

The dreams seem so real

the sun will set
the moon will rise
hope I get the chance
to see it in your eyes

thoughts run through my head
don't know where they go
or from where they came
as I lie here in bed


does believing in something or possibly the thought of something really help us, does thanking a patron saint or believing in a mythological bird get us where we need to go, do you let it hear everything and let it go only to go sleepless at night if it doesn't come back, or do you keep it in only to know that it was safe to let it out, can we have something to do with fate and destiny, does always doing or at least trying to do the right thing really get you anywhere, I mean I know there are things beyond our control, but at any point in time can I have a say, time ......... Crawls when I need it to go, and runs faster then jack himself when I need one more second, can I have feelings that really eat me up inside even though its the same dreams that help me sleep at night, can I want and believe something so bad that it happens, or do my hopes crash like always, I know thing though, I'll rise from my ashes, I'll hold on tight, I'll smile in my dreams, I'll kick fate in the balls, and I'll be the best damn person I can be, time will bend and potential will be reached, cause I want it that bad, I'm not a figment of your imagination, I'm exactly what you have been looking for, funny how you cant see it but you say it everyday, it's not fair because I'm the one in the hard spot, and youre the one that might not make it, one day it will be real and not words but touches and goosebumps, either way I feel the tide changing, and I'm finally gonna get my pass, I might pay for it but it will be worth it ...

how is it that people get through life not knowing what is going on ... I mean completely lost ... I know I have hit on this before I for real ... how can you do something everyday and then when someone looks you in the eye you say I don't know ... and believe it ... drives me mad to know that some of these people will have to "watch my back" ... I quote that because I don't see them actually doing that from the tuck tail and run position ... baffles me ... how can people do so wrong so often and yet nothing happens but yet doing right gives you more shit ... I'm about to set myself up with a great spot so I am starting to see the light at the tunnel ... not the big pay off ... but some change to keep me along the way ... again I find myself in deeper than I probly should be and for some reason this time I think its might be ok ... sometimes I don't ... but I guess we will see ... it makes me heart beat and stop all at the same time ... Silliness I tell you ... (all this was added ...) ... the obvious is to be said ... while reading this it was simply a put pad to paper and lets see what comes out ... well here it is uncut ... so although some thing I would refine or correct ... I thought I would have done myself an injustice to do so ... yeah ...

 

god bless the army medical staff (sarcasm to be noted) ...

so I call the E.N.T. ... They have never heard of me and were very quick to tell me to call my health clinic and hung up on me ... So I call my health clinic and they assured me that they sent the referral but to be on the safe side they would send it again ... So I call back to the E.N.T. ... Not that the lady was any nicer but at least I was in the system ... soooo the earliest date they could give me was mid sept ... That just wasn't going to cut it ... Needless to say my det sgt didn't get too much further than I had ... Apparently there are two E.N.T. Doctors on this entire base ... They take care of all the active duty soldiers, national guard soldiers that are here, reserve soldiers that are here, all dependents, and all retired soldiers ... I understand that not all of these people are seen or need to see an E.N.T. ... But still TWO DOCTORS!!!! Come on people ... Ridiculous ... Good thing my captain has an in (hopefully, keep your fingers crossed) ... So tomorrow I will let you know if I was able to get something in the works ... Oh almost forgot ... When I do see the ENT ... If I need my tonsils out (I'm sure that's the case) ... There is a three month surgery waiting list ... But if "they are bad enough" I might have a shot at moving up the list ... But I did find out I get two weeks for recovery :p ... Again fingers crossed ... I'll report tomorrow ...

23 August 2006 

almost forgot to mention ...

sooo yeah I had my follow up at the medical clinic ... again had to see a different doctor ... he takes one look at my tonsils and can only say "wow, they are really bad ... wow" ... like this is what I needed to hear ... anyway ... he did write up a referral to the ENT, gave me 30 more days of antibiotics, and 10 days of another steroid ... so this is all good news I guess ... turns out I have to call and hound the ENT to give me an appointment and tell them I am deploying because they will wait months to schedule me in ... idiots ... so upon telling my mother all this is consults with the doctors she works for ... they tell her that I should see a special disease doctor ... I don't think I am going to do that unless the ENT does something stupid ... I am just afraid that going to a S.D. Dr will make me non deployable ... so we will see ... btw ... washed the phone number to the ENT in my uniform ... lol ... silly me ... peace out for now ...

 

thank goodness i'm a computer dork ...

turns out that the female that they were going to make s6 (computer person) doesnt really want to do it and someone over heard me speaking nerd ... i am now the newest memeber of the s6 shop ... so i am excited to do doing that in iraq ... i enjoy it and will get some good experience out of it ... not to mention i am applying for a security clearence :) ... im hoping all of this helps in getting me back to md after iraq ... i figure the more i got under my belt wont hurt ... not to mention when i get out of the army ... ok well i have to head into work and get cracking at all this paper work i have to catch up on ... peace out for now ...

16 August 2006 

finally its over ...

my armor class that is ... a 3 hour final exam ... it was a tough one but i pulled through and got my certificate ... lord help me if i failed and had to take that over again ...

thats all


ps - my bad for complaining in my last entry ... but i felt so much better ...

15 August 2006 

I'm tired ....

I'm tired ... I'm tired of being sick and feeling crappy ... I'm tired of the armor class that I am in ... I'm tired of stupid people ... I'm tired of dealing with immature soldiers ... I'm tired of not having a car and being broke ... I'm tired of going to sleep every night by myself ... I'm tired of having someone that wants to be with me and they are hundreds of miles away ... I'm tired of waiting to go to Iraq ... I'm tired ... I'm tired of having to take medicine to get a good nights sleep ... I'm tired of waiting to get my tonsils out ... I'm tired of my desktop not working right and my laptop running out of space ... I'm tired of being tired ... I'm tired of not having a normal life ... I'm tired of feeling like I'm not living to my potential ... I'm tired of not getting ideas anymore ... I'm tired of not having my dog around ... I'm tired of being hundreds of miles away from anyone that really knows me ... I'm tired of being hundreds of miles away from people I really know ... I'm tired of not having total control over something so extremely important ... my life ... I'm tired of it being hot ... I'm tired of stress and what stress does to me ... I'm tired of texas and not being in maryland ... I'm tired of complaining ... I'm out ...


thanks for listening ...

11 August 2006 

sorry for the absence ...

but I have been in the unit armor course ... pretty much I am learning how to take apart/fix/ (hopefully) put back together weapons ... its a long and boring class so I have found myself getting home late and being so tired that I dont even get on the computer ...

but its a training holiday today and I have found some free time ... I am recovering from a night of drinking at the ball that we had last night ... I ended up having a great time until a capt decided that since we were having such a good time and had a DD that she made us leave with "assigned DD's" ... what I dont get is ... we planned this last week that my buddy's wife was going to drive us ... so she didnt drink ... we got hammered ... and then the capt made me leave with someone else ... whats the point in tell us that we had to get a DD in the first place if you were going to force me to ride home with someone else ... I wanted to kick her in the face but being that I was hammered I would have surely fallen down ... not to mention trying to hit an officer wouldnt have gone over well ...

but aside from that I had a really good time and got to spend some good fun time with people before we deploy ...

hope all is well out there in blogger land ... 2 more weeks and the tonsils come out ...

01 August 2006 

gearing up ...

well ... orders are here ... count down has begun ... as you know i am really looking forward to going, so it was nice to get the orders so we arent guessing when we were going to leave ...

so i have been packing and gathering up things i think i am going to need ... (ps walmart has coffee makers for 10$) ... so its been kinda crazy lately ... not that its busy just everyone is starting to get the nervous feelings ...

my R&R dates have been reassured so my european tour is one step closer ... also some good tips have been given to me ... ryanair.com ... SUPER CHEAP FLIGHTS ... germany to dublin ... 20 euro ... my passport is going to have tons of stamps!!!!

more to come later ... super tired ... turns out i still have the mono bug ...